Thanksgiving Etiquette

Thanksgiving Etiquette Do’s and Don’ts: The In-Laws Survival Guide

In Marriage by Interconnected Lives

#8: Thanksgiving Etiquette Don’ts: Rush Things

Remember our analogy about relationships and Thanksgiving dinners?  It works here again.  If you put things off, and then scramble at the last minute to throw things together, it will show.  If you take the turkey out of the oven and serve it before it’s good and cooked, it’ll show—and leave your guests feeling sick.

Something else that’s sure to leave your partner and guests with some ill will afterwards?  Rushing into things right after dinner.

Most see Thanksgiving as a time for family, after all, and so treating the situation as a feast for carnal passions can really sour the mood, and if there’s one thing you don’t want when embarking on a serious relationship with someone, it’s giving your would-be in-laws reason to dislike you—and gossip behind your back.  After all, Thanksgiving is also a time for families to come together and talk…

If you and your partner rudely abandon everyone else to make out behind closed doors, what—and who—do you think they’re going to end up talking about?

How many stories have you read, seen and heard which turn on the basis of gossip?  That’s just about as universal a trope as you’re going to see in modern storytelling, especially in the West, and especially with how tied in we all are now to our technology and social media.

Whether it’s amidst the gossip and Regency-era gowns of Pride and Prejudice or Regina George and her posse of Plastics in Mean Girls, you can be sure that gossip spreads, and fast.

Marcel Proust once wrote ‘Word of scandal spreads like a spot of oil.’  It spreads all the faster and stains all the more in the age of social media.

You think the idea of family members gossiping behind your back at home is an uncomfortable idea?  Try logging onto Facebook and Twitter to find the (likely exaggerated) details of your snubbing the family to snog your partner posted, shared, and liked across a dozen different statuses.

Add to that the fact that, with an average of dozens or even hundreds of Friends/Followers per average Facebook user, chances are oily blot against your name could spread across the globe and to hundreds of friends of friends of friends whom you don’t even know, and the potential humiliation and shaming of you and your partner is complete.

Is all that really worth it?  We think not.

Besides, it’s just bad manners and a lack of etiquette and respect to rush into things like that.

There’ll be enough alone time later.  Any sensible family will know and understand that.