#1: Thanksgiving Etiquette Do’s: Offer to Help
It’s a pretty big undertaking, preparing a whole meal from scratch, setting the table, getting drinks, making sure that everything involved in the Thanksgiving holiday is just perfect—why not offer to help?
This really is a basic piece of advice, and a win-win option.
Either they say yes, and you come off as graceful and magnanimous, thereby putting you in the good graces of your in-laws and partner, or they politely decline, in which case, you’re cleared of the obligation. (Selfish reasoning, yes, but still true—and, hey, again, everybody wins.)
Just be sure that, when you ask, you pick the right moment to do so, i.e., not when they are overwhelmed to the point of frustration, lest they vent that frustration on you.
What is more important is that you want to make sure that your tone is genuine. (You should be asking genuinely anyway, but at least make sure your tone does not seem smug or assuming.)
Finally, if you’re going to offer to help, do so in a field where you can, you know, actually help. Don’t offer to help with the cooking if you don’t know a spork from a salad fork. That will just hinder your partner’s efforts, frustrate them, and cause problems for everyone involved.