#4: Reddit Relationships
Let’s say you’re a Music major, meet a girl who seems especially pretty, funny, and absolutely perfect, give her a cautious hello. She smiles, asks your major, you tell her, and—yes! She’s a Music major too! Before you know it you’re both off and running, sharing your Band Geek-born love of Bach, and it really looks like you’re making a connection.
She makes an offhand comment about student debt, and you tell her you have quite a bit of that. She seems sympathetic, so you continue on to tell her about how horrible your job is, how terrible your apartment is, how hard it was being born and raised in South Detroit and—hey! She ditched you!
She clearly DID Stop Believing in this connection, but why? Didn’t she want to hear all about how hard it is to be you?
Well…no. Probably not. Showing a little vulnerability is fine, and can even be endearing, or an early show of trust. Sharing in or understanding another’s struggle gives great material over which to bond—but again, the keyword there is sharing. Yet another entry from that AskMen article has to deal with the often-fatal mistake of only talking about yourself, as our hypothetical Music major did there.
Remember, she has to actually like being around you and want more of you to want you badly. That goes for the real-world as well as for making a connection on Reddit or another online site.
Building a relationship by way of sharing common interests or problems? There’s some real potential in that. Subjecting someone to a constant barrage of sob stories about how awful your life is and you’re the most misunderstood genius ever?
Well, a girl might not end up wanting you badly…but psychiatrists will be tripping over themselves to get your business!