#2: Don’t Be an Alex or Piper
Confession time—I am not a fan of the Netflix show Orange is the New Black. There are many reasons, but this is neither the time nor the place. So why bring this up? Well, it’s a highly-popular show, and one that features lesbian love affairs, making it a highly-convenient way to give a classic example of an absolute don’t in any relationship.
Stabbing someone in the back. While that works in the literal sense as well—knifing a partner’s pretty much universally agreed upon as a deal-breaker in a relationship—it’s the figurative sense we care about here. You simply cannot violate your partner’s trust.
That’s true in any relationship, and carries special importance for a lesbian relationship. Emotions tend to run especially in a lesbian relationship, and not for any stupidly-misogynistic ‘women are emotional’ reason, but simply because of the quasi-taboo factor that’s still sadly associated with same sex marriage in much of the United States.
Your partner’s not just any old person you ‘like,’ but someone with whom you have chosen to share that most tantalizing and sexy something of something’s with—trust.
Look no further than Orange for an example. Why does the lesbian relationship between Piper ‘I Never Learn My Lesson’ Chapman and her ex-lesbian lover, Alex fail? Many reasons—including Alex’s pernicious nature and Piper’s aforementioned inability to get a clue—but a key reason is Alex’s violation of Piper’s trust with the aforementioned drug dealing.
To make a lesbian relationship work, and to have any shot at trying out any of those ‘spicy’ suggestions above, you need to earn your partner’s trust, keep it, and then avoid stupid mistakes.
Don’t be like Alex, and violate your partner’s trust. But Piper’s not free of guilt in this, either. As we oh-so-subtlety hinted at, she never, never, never learns from her mistakes, to the ire of fans, non-fans, and her fellow inmates alike.
An inability to learn from your past mistakes demonstrates either an inability to listen or else a failure to care. All this makes Piper as irritating and simpering as they come—not exactly relationship material. (We’re pretty sure the only reason Larry’s with her is he’s just as annoying, oblivious and emotionally-immature.)
One of the fastest ways of adding spice to a relationship is subtracting all those above relationship mistakes.
Do your partner a favor, and don’t be an Alex. Do everyone—including yourself—a favor, and don’t be a Piper. Your partner—and the world—will be grateful.
Do you have a healthy relationship? We would love to hear any lesbian relationship advice!