#1: Don’t Badger Them
One of the most immediate temptations that occur for all too many brokenhearted partners when suffering through broken relationships is the idea to just be ‘persistent.’
Keep asking, keep ‘showing them you care,’ the line of thought so often goes, and you’ll win them over by sheer force of personality. Hollywood has a tendency to reinforce this erroneous view of romance—romantic comedies especially make use of the formula.
Lovers meet, lovers fall in love, problems arise, one party or the other tries over and over and over again to win the other party over, without success, until they finally have that one ‘magical’ moment where all that persistence pays off, he or she says ‘Yes,’ and everyone lives happily ever after as the credits roll.
Unfortunately, things don’t work that way in the real world. What’s more, that degree of desperation is not only a death sentence to most relationships—for reasons that will be discussed in a moment—but itself may point to attachment issues, or simply an inability to move on.
Few things turn a partner off quite as quickly and completely as a ‘clingy’ significant other. While it’s entirely possible that your intentions are nothing but pure, being extremely persistent during broken relationships can come across as being unwilling to let go, and while Hollywood and paperbacks have a tendency to romanticize that, idea, it can be interpreted as your being controlling or otherwise not respecting your partner’s wishes, personal space, or even as your being ‘stalker-ish.’
While it’s important to show your significant other that you care, both when trying to mend broken relationships and in trying to prevent a separation in the first place, always retain a respectful distance, and do not bombard or badger your partner with an onslaught of calls, emails, texts, Facebook messages, etc. It’s disrespectful, potentially traumatic on their part, and will not achieve your goal.